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Gardening Humor 
Funny stuff is everywhere, even in the garden!
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Interpreting plant catalogs
You need to learn how to accurately interpret catalog plant descriptions. A catalog from the northeast will describe the mature size of a plant as, say, "18W x 24H". This is the mature size of the plant there, not in southern California where it will get at least two or three times bigger due to our long growing season. A good example is the popular Salvia 'Indigo Spires', usually described as 18 inches wide and 4 feet tall at maturity. HA! In our garden it reaches at least seven feet wide (before I finally stop it with the pruners) and more than five feet tall. It is a monstrosity.
My own interpretation of some catalog terms that have special meaning to us who garden in mild zones:
- Blooms in spring ~ Blooms all year (example: Campanula rotundifolia).
- Blooms all season ~ Blooms all year.
- Long-blooming ~ There: Blooms for four weeks. Here: Blooms all year.
- Annual ~ Perennial
- Store in greenhouse over winter ~ Leave in your garden all year long.
- Prune in early spring after last frost ~ Prune in winter or spring.
Other terms with special meaning to gardeners anywhere -- from personal experience:
- Vigorous ~ Will eat your garden and eventually your house.
- For the experienced gardener ~ Forget it. Unless you are retired and have time to coddle it 24/7, it will surely die.
- Thrives on little care ~ Will spread like wildfire into your neighbors' yards, and beyond.
- Needs sharp drainage ~ Don't even think of putting it in your clay soil.
- Short-lived ~ Will bloom itself to death within a few years.
- Sow in vermiculite and water only from below ~ Just toss the seeds on the ground and forget about 'em... they'll eventually come up.
- Prolific self-sower ~ Be prepared to spend lots of time pulling millions of seedlings from your garden, pots, lawn, cracks in the driveway, the neighbors' yards, the cracks in the neighbors' driveways, and beyond.
- Blue ~ Purple, lavender, lilac, etc. -- anything but blue.
- Pink ~ Salmon or peach -- anything but pink.
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Funny stuff I've found on the web
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